The FDA has just approved a new form of birth control called "waytoomanyinabed". A longitudinal and horizontal study reports that this Rx, taken properly over the course of several years, will absolutely and effectively prevent prenancy. Research dating from ancient heiroglyphics, early Chinese cave paintings and recent texts confirm this data. The recommended dose varies by individual, but a benchmark of 3 children, 1 old dog, 1 smallish biting puppy and 1 screeching guinea pig is a suitable start.

Side Effects: sleeplessness, drowsiness, abnormal hair growth, alopecia, pregnancy, irritability, restlessness, lethargy, confusion, headache, backache, toothache, belly ache, indigestion, nausea, anger, hostilty, hallucinations, drug abuse, midnight snacking, late night infomercial watching, impulse buying, blogging, FB stalking, paranoia, bad hair, mismatched shoes, strained eyes, strained peas, messy pedicures, sloppy speech, incomplete thoughts and sentences, loose synapses, yelling, crying, giggles, the crazy eyes and swearing.

Warning: Do not operate heavy farm equipment or firearms while under the influence of waytoomanyinabed.

Best if taken before midnight with a whoopie pie or a pint of ice cream.