On the stiletto heels of a successful freelance writing interview, I decided to find a dwarf lionhead bunny (gray or tan) for my daughter's birthday. I have been looking for quite some time, but until this very morning as I was eagerly awaiting my the job opportunity that would change my life, I searched for the fluffy critter in the pages of Uncle Henry's (a publication I haven't seen the likes of since college). Bunnies, bunnies, bunnies $10. Perfect - cheaper than the petstore. Oh, lucky day! After *starring* the ads for future follow-through. I kept flipping. Goats. Guard llama (interesting). Chickens (more interesting *****). Yorkie pups. Hold the phone! I do like Yorkie pups - heck, I have a really old one already. Maybe I will just call, you know, research. After 3 minutes on the phone, I am sold. But will my husband be so easily swayed??
We (me) tentatively agree to meet to take a peek at the 4 lovely girls the next day. I don't really have much else on the calendar and I certainly don't have the moola to ponder a puppy. Besides, it is only an hour away and we are just looking. I tell the 4 children repeatedly - "we are only looking. You people hear me? We are NOT buying a puppy today. FYI, they are not even available until mid-August. We are NOT bringing home a puppy. Period. Seriously."
Our 1 hour drive to Augusta slowly turned into a 2 1/2 hour drive to Bangor ("banga? I hardly know 'er!" Sorry. I can't help myself. No disrespect to Bangor...). Shoot. I only packed enough snacks for a medium sized outing. Solution munchkins - nay, timbits (I was scolded by the drive-thru girl). We inhale the box, take a pee break and head back out on the road. We finally reach our destination - a truck stop on the outskirts of town. Not my first choice for a first date, but ok. As far as truck stops go, this one was classy. The children unbuckle and stick their loud blonde heads out the window and try to guess which is the puppy chariot. We settle on the giant RV towing a PT Cruiser (or PT Loser like Auntie Patty says). Upon the approval of the driver, the side door swings open and a skittish dog bolts out into the middle of the bus rest area until she is smack dab in the middle of underneath the Winnebago. "Grab her!", yells the man with the bum leg (a term of endearment really, as I don't recall his actual name). Easier said than done buddy. She is the mother. She is no dummy. Stay on the bus with all those sharp puppy teeth or take her chances with the truckers. I don't blame her for a second. It would have been a no brainer for me, too. Reluctently and after some gently poking from M.W.B.L.'s cane, I am able to crawl under some patrons vehicle and drag the poor old broad out by the leg.
The children knock each other down on their way up the stairs of the giant RV and scoop the wee babies into their arms. Trouble. But do not worry as I have put on my "not gonna happen" glasses. Besides, they are not ready and I don't have money in my wallet or definitive permission. Immediately, all of these thoughts disappear and are replaced by, "I wonder if they will accept Lewis (the 12 year old spinning Yorkie with separation anxiety) as a trade? Or maybe a child? Or maybe the van??" I was saved though. They only accept cash. I don't have any. "You could go to the bank," says the M.W.B.L.'s big momma. She is already ratttling off the address to the nearest TD Banknorth before I can object. That sounds reasonable. And we can take one of the puppies with us home today. Imagine my good fortune! I pry all but one of the wriggling pups from my childrens' arms and set off with the man's wife (Tammy, I think?) to get cash. Apparently, I am not as trustworthy as I thought.
Getting to the branch was easy peesey Gary Sinese. I marched in and demanded a withdrawal. Shady. "It's for a puppy!", I barked, "she is in the car with my children and my old dog and the lady and she only takes cash. She is so sweet and it is almost my little girl's birthday and I don't know how long the other dog is going to live because he had almost all of his teeth pulled last year but they left 2 teeth and I don't know why but I am certainly not going to bring him back for another cleaning ever. It's for a puppy." Hello Slim Shady. Take money. Exit. Back to truck stop, but only after getting lost for 40 minutes with new friend. I joked, "hehe. If we can't find our way back, you can just come home with me. Hehehe." She gripped the door handle tighter. Does everyone think I am nuts? I bet it was the kids. They are totally scary.
So, here I am at 4:59A. With the puppy I was NOT going to get. My friend asked if I got her so I would have something to blog about. No way. Maybe. Lola is peed and pooped and asleep again. I really must me insane. But insane with a super cute puppy!
Love it!
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