oscar, oscar, buzz, buzz

I would like to announce a late entry nomination for the only slightly less well known achievement - the Oscar Mayer Bologna Award (henchforth referred to as the OMBA). You might have seen her in the way, way off Broadway musical, "Mama Annie Get Your Gun", in which she loosly portrayed Annie Oakley as a stay-at-home mom in modern days. Critics raved, "When I saw her (Mama) throw that Jolly Rancher candy out of the van while driving, I knew she was a real sharp shooter. She chucked that sucker out of the window like an ace. I actually shuddered." She recently appeared in a plucky community theater tribute to the Carol Burnett Show and was recognized for being "that girl" from the bank commercial. But her greatest accomplishment, thus far, is being nominated for the 2011 OMBA in the category of World's Most Unfair Mum. Hollywood is abuzz with this lady's shenanigans including the time last week when she took her children to get haircuts and the newly accredited girl with a very inappropriately plunging top chopped the golden locks off her boy when he only wanted a trim. The audience cried when she forgot to remind her darling daughter to pack her snowpants and she had to stay on the pavement during outdoor recess and tempers flared when she made dinner one night and it "wasn't very good". Her children report that they are the only house in Maine that doesn't have cable and their consumption of artificial food dyes is restricted. This low budget film noir never made it to the big screen, but you can catch it every day if you open your car windows and drive past her house. She is being considered for a role in the upcoming daytime drama, "People Who Sometimes Forget To Feed The Dog and The Toddlers That Tattle On Them". Cast your votes today!