malfunction (or 2)

So, did I mention to y'all that I am involved in community theater? I am making my theatrical on-stage debut this Friday (shameless plug) in a Carol Burnett Variety Show. But enough about the program details - the real juicy bit is that, well let's just say, there are no more Sarah secrets from the cast. I have this dress, this utterly ugly old lady dress, that is a great costume, but a completely awful fit on me. So, in one of my weaker, vainer moments, I set off to find something a skosh lovelier. And - yippy! - I found a replacement in the dress-up wardrobe for the middle school! Here's where the extra, super fun begins:

Fashion catastrophe #1 - apparently, the audience can see up my johny and bathrobe when I am on the stage. Ok, we're all adults and, need I remind everyone, actors. No big deal right? Right say the cast members on stage left. I am a bit embarrassed, but on with the show, until,

Fashion disaster #2 - I put on the new found dress, go through the rehearsal, bow, go through the rehearsal again, bow again, curtain closes and then, only then, do they (my favorite fellow actor pals) caution that I might want to reconsider the navy blue undergarments! Hello! Why didn't they mention, as a professional courtesy, this when I first emerged from the dressing room? We have no mirrors backstage, so I am relying on them to tell me if I am look alright. Nobody hesitated to tell me to wear sparklier earrings. I haven't been as exposed since last winter when I was trying on jeans at the Loft and the slippery toddler escaped from underneath the stall and ran out into the store and I had to also run out into the store in my undies - and not the cute, "I wouldn't mind being seen in these undies" undies, but the end of the laundry cycle maternity undies that I always say I am going to throw away, but never do and then I wear them just one more time because they are so comfy and they don't dig into my sides, and chase down the child, that has cost me my figure and my senses, into flurry of salesladies and holiday shoppers. Egad.

I am now humbled and much better prepared in the undergarments department for the actual show. However, for those in the front row and an extra $2... kidding.